Four Ingredient Chocolate Coconut Almond Bark

Kids love Halloween, and I was no exception.

I loved Halloween in part because I loved eating candy.

BUT I also loved stockpiling candy. You see, while delicious, candy is also universally valuable to children, so it literally functions as commodity money. Save up enough of the good candy, and one can ~theoretically~ convince one’s sisters to rake the leaves and then snuggle up on the couch to watch Sailor Moon while they labor in the backyard. Yes, I played the long game.

Every Halloween post-Trick-or-Treating, my sisters and I would trade candy in the hopes of making our portfolio more delicious and valuable. It was the candy version of the New York stock exchange, if you will.

But no matter how I tried, I couldn’t get rid of the Almond Joys, even if I offered several Almond Joys for one measly Tootsie Roll. Why, you ask?

Clearly, it was because children have no taste.

Thankfully, I have learned the error of my ways. Coconut, chocolate, and almonds could probably topple complex carbohydrates, cheese, and tomatoes as the Holy Trinity* of foodstuffs. My roommate ate half a batch in seven minutes. And he would have eaten the whole batch if I hadn’t hidden the other half away in a dark corner of the freezer.

And it’s super simple. Frustratingly simple. It actually makes me angry that people eat crappy, packaged desserts when they could spend 8ish minutes making 16 servings of this deliciousness.

It’s sweet/crunchy/a lil’ salty/a lil’ um-aaaah-mi. And very very satisfying.

I’ll wait here patiently while you make it. And once it’s finished, you can chomp on it and continue reading the blog.

Print Recipe

Four Ingredient Chocolate Coconut Almond Bark

Prep Time

10 minutes

Cook Time

5 minutes

Servings

people

Ingredients

• 1 cup slivered almonds
• 1 1/3 cup flaked or shredded coconut
• 12 oz dark or semisweet chocolate chopped
• 1 tsp maple syrup
• 1/4 tsp salt

Prep Time 10 minutes Cook Time 5 minutes Servings people Ingredients 1 cup slivered almonds 1 1/3 cup flaked or shredded coconut 12 oz dark or semisweet chocolate chopped 1 tsp maple syrup 1/4 tsp salt

Instructions

1. On medium heat, toast almonds, shaking the pan regularly, for two minutes, or until they start to be come just slightly fragrant.
2. Add the coconut and toast almonds and coconut together until both are lightly browned, turning regularly, about five more minutes. Make sure to keep an eye on them for the last couple of minutes because once they begin to brown, they will brown quickly. Remove from heat.
3. Pulse or blend almonds and coconut in food processor until the mixture turns into a coarse meal.
4. Pulse or blend almonds and coconut in food processor until the mixture turns into a coarse meal.
5. Add the chopped chocolate directly to the coconut-almond mix - no need to melt the chocolate first, as the coconut almond mixture will still be hot. Add the maple syrup and salt, and blend until combined.
6. Pat the mix into a 9x9 pan using a silicone spatula. Cover and freeze for 30 minutes, or until fully set.
7. Allow to thaw slightly and cut into squares, or whatever non-geometric shape you want. This is your kitchen and these are your rules.
8. For best texture, keep frozen. These will stay fresh in the freezer for several weeks (months? years?), but I'm betting they won't last more than a few days.