Four Ingredient Chocolate Coconut Almond Bark
Kids love Halloween, and I was no exception.
I loved Halloween in part because I loved eating candy.
BUT I also loved stockpiling candy. You see, while delicious, candy is also universally valuable to children, so it literally functions as commodity money. Save up enough of the good candy, and one can ~theoretically~ convince one’s sisters to rake the leaves and then snuggle up on the couch to watch Sailor Moon while they labor in the backyard. Yes, I played the long game.
Every Halloween post-Trick-or-Treating, my sisters and I would trade candy in the hopes of making our portfolio more delicious and valuable. It was the candy version of the New York stock exchange, if you will.
But no matter how I tried, I couldn’t get rid of the Almond Joys, even if I offered several Almond Joys for one measly Tootsie Roll. Why, you ask?
Clearly, it was because children have no taste.
Thankfully, I have learned the error of my ways. Coconut, chocolate, and almonds could probably topple complex carbohydrates, cheese, and tomatoes as the Holy Trinity* of foodstuffs. My roommate ate half a batch in seven minutes. And he would have eaten the whole batch if I hadn’t hidden the other half away in a dark corner of the freezer.
And it’s super simple. Frustratingly simple. It actually makes me angry that people eat crappy, packaged desserts when they could spend 8ish minutes making 16 servings of this deliciousness.
It’s sweet/crunchy/a lil’ salty/a lil’ um-aaaah-mi. And very very satisfying.
I’ll wait here patiently while you make it. And once it’s finished, you can chomp on it and continue reading the blog.